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Meditations For Women Who Do Too MuchAnne Wilson Schaef Harper & Row, Publishers, Inc. May 1990
PB 400
Soft cover $14.00
ISBN# 0062548662
Review by Christina Francine Many of today’s women are addicted to working, rushing and taking care of
other’s needs. It’s no wonder she ends up feeling used, frustrated and two
feelings at the same time: alone and without any time for herself. The
publishers of this book asked Scheaef to write a book for workaholic women;
the ones who overwork and do too much. She agreed and after engaging the
help of others for support, feedback, gathering, typing and checking,
‘Meditations…’ took shape.
Schaef: “I decided to use only quotes from women, but it is not for women
only. It’s written from a women’s perspective, yet men may find meditations
that speak to them also.
My sister is a dear friend and a workaholic woman. Now that we now have our
own families, work, raise horses, and live for away from each other, we
don’t see each other often. We talk on the phone once a week. For her
birthday one year I wanted to bring her comfort and remind her to take time
out for herself, to slow down, to find reasons to hang in there, give her
words of wisdom and hugs. When I came across this book it filled these
desires, except for the physical hug. Before wrapping it, I flipped through
pages and decided I too needed these reminders. It’s a good thing I bought
a hardcover because in the past three years this 6 1/4 x 8 1/8 book is often
referred to.
The book is set up so that there is a meditation for every day of the year,
from January 1st to December 31st, with 16 alternatives. Adding further to
this book is an index for quick reference at the end.
Women have a special connection. No one understands us like another woman,
and if she’s a friend, the understanding is even deeper. We read each
other; know when something is wrong whether emotionally or physically. Our
women friends are there through good times celebrating and through the bad
times sympathizing.
The other day I came home from work and there three minutes when my
twenty-year-old daughter walked into the kitchen, took one look at me and
said, “What’s wrong Mom?”
“Oh,” I said. “I’m fine honey. Why?”
She tilted her head. “Something’s wrong. I can tell. Do you not want to
talk about it right now?”
I stood amazed. My daughter, I thought, while my jaw hung open and my eyes
wide, not only grew up, but she gets it.
She looked back at me and said, “What’s the matter Mom? Are you sure you
don’t want to talk?”
“You have it.” I said.
“Have what?”
“It. You knew and I hadn’t said a word. How could you tell?”
“I read you,” she said plainly. “And I know you. All I had to do was read
the signs.”
And isn’t that what it is with us women? It isn’t that we have a spectacular
sixth sense, women’s intuition, or eyes in the back of our heads. Women pay
attention to the details of those around us, especially those we care about,
and then we read the signs.
Two Examples of Meditations from the book:
April 8
Friendship
She became for me an island of light, fun, wisdom where I could run with my
discoveries and torments and hopes at any time of day and find welcome.
______May Sarton
We sometimes forget all the friends we have had in our lives. The negative
thinking of our disease tends to focus on what is missing. But let’s take
today and let ourselves remember the friends who have been there for us.
For me, there was the little old lady with the beautiful flower garden who
would not let my parents spank me when I tried to pick some flowers and
inadvertently pulled them up by the roots. “She was only admiring their
beauty,” she said when my mother marched me over to apologize. And there
was the friend in grade school that came forward to share the rap when I was
the only one caught. There were friends who shared our tentative
relationships and sexual explorations and never told. There were friends we
studied with, hung out with, and grew up with – who were there for us.
There were adults who served as models and mentors and judged us not. There
were friends.
Remembering the friends I have had in my life caresses my mind and being
like a warm bath caresses my body.
July 7
Friends
Friends the first time I met the little girl until her death recently, a
period of a little over seventy years, we were friends.
______Mrs. Mary E. Ackley
“We were friends” – such a simple yet powerful statement: “We were
friends.” How many of us can truly say that were are a friend?
One of the devastating realities of busyness and doing too much is that we
progressively have less and less time for friends.
We have to make appointments for friendship. Hanging out with a friend sums
a luxury or even an inconvenience. Or we assume that we are friends and
never do anything to nurture the relationship. We treat our friends like we
treat ourselves, and that’s not very nice.
It is not possible to live a rich, full life without friends. I have to be
one to have one.
Women will want this book available so they can refer to at work, or next to
their bed after a long day. It is recommended for women everywhere whether
she works out of the home or in it, because most women rush, are responsible
for and do too much, and are careaholics. Even superwomen need love,
friendship, nurturing, care and gentle reminders such as those found in this
book.
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